Random Thought

To not question is to doubt - by not questioning, you are in acknowledgment that if you did question, a contradictory answer that is not pleasing may be found and therefore, doubt by not questioning in the first place.

Mirror's Eyes

I suppose one of our biggest fear would be dying alone, as if dying weren't bad enough. Just a little recognition would be nice. A little mourning. I don't think I'm the first one to imagine what my own funeral would be like. I'd be watching in from above, listening to what kind words people have to say about me, everyone weeping uncontrollably, even the little babies would be crying, or maybe they just wanted their pacifier.

But I wonder how many of those people in the crowd would have truly understood me. It is such a liberating form of recognition; to be understood. To know another sees more than just a part, is drawn in by more than just some appealling mannerisms, or looks, even if they can't relate to it or understand the whys. I hope it’s going to be a great weekend, an excellent weekend, but hanging in between, my moments of pointless flirting and unintelligability was a thought. Just give me a nice setting, a cigarette box, some coffee, and someone to connect with sitting across from me. I’d be content with that.

We wouldn't need to be talking about profound things, by all means flirt a little, leave your brain at the door and don't look back. But I love the feeling I get when in the presence of someone I see eye to eye with. There is so much unspoken understanding and mutual acknowledgement. I'll crack a smile when carefully selected words hint at some grand understanding, as if precisely behind these symbols, tangled in some abstract mess where words serve no justice, a beautiful connection between two people lies.

I'm starting to hate this post because I'm basically saying that despite all my friends and all the fun I have, there's a part of me that just wants someone to connect with, and even more, to call my own. That doesn't sounds right. Maybe I'm just trying to find some closure to my past. Or perharps, we all just want to find closure to our past? As one points out, “The past is a reminder for us to be better in the future.”

For a start, maybe I’ll just smile. Smile like I mean it...

Note From The Past

When I lie where shades of darkness

Shall no more assail my eyes

As the rain made lamentation

Or the whistling wind sighs

How will the world fare whose wonder

Was that the very proof of me?

Memory fades, must be remembered

Sure it perishes as it can be.

When will my dust surrenders

Confused, blurred with confession till dusk

May these loved and loving faces

Get collaborated and drained in a task

Let rust harvest vast places

Soil the fool’s joy entwined

And as the happy embryos traces

Appreciate the joy once mine.

In every hour without night

Seal their minds in deadly slumber

For their lies swell till delight

Oh pardon me should my words be blunder

And so I’ve paid my utmost blessing

Where all things lived with praise

Events in the past year had been passing

For I pray this year I shall lead with grace.

Crack The Liar's Smile

Have I ever mentioned that I'm quite good at lying? I'm also pretty well accomplished at sniffing out a lie too. Sure, eye twitches and all that shit are helpful. But most people are better liars than that, so I'll give you some helpful hints to help you.

If someone goes on and on, they are trying to cover or embellish previous lies. Embellishment is one of the great mistakes that liars make. If it sounds too good or too bad to be true, then it isn't. Stumbling over descriptors can indicate a lie. If they interrupt you to say something, but then hesitate in the middle of it, they're probably lying by omission after processing what you didn't get to say. If it comes out too fast or too slow, they're probably lying. You know, you have to pay attention to the rhythm of speech. Most people do what I call "shave" lying, which means that they lie by just a hair, which, like that other thing you all like to be shaved, trims down the truth into something more appealing.

I'm also interested in eyes and people looking and watching and staring and gazing. I always have to self edit myself to where people are looking. I usually turn it into descriptors of what they are looking at; that they are looking at them is understood, right? But in rough drafts people are shooting each other meaningful glances, or studying the night sky or focusing on their knees and the like all the time. It's annoying. But then, that's what editing is for, and I guess it's how I see through their eyes. I'm good at that too, which is why I'm good at seeing lies. In addition to being observant, I'm empathetic. I feel your pain, man. Not that I care, but I feel it. And I don't often show that side of me to others. But empathy is why I write about at my posts looking at stuff all the time. You can't buy that shit, it just has to come to you.Free things are the greatest things in life: yeah, love and empathy and all that. Sure, go with it. And then there's the greatest free thing of all: writing, and reading what I've written. That's why I'm lucky, coz I love write and it's all free. Books cost, internet costs, the newspaper costs, reading anything at all costs something; except when I read my own stuff, it's free.

Of course this latest post was disappointing. First of all, you can’t learnt much from this post. Secondly, it's missing that element, that "ah ha" moment. Something is not right. Oh well, it will come. It's not bothering me. Much.

Can you tell I'm lying? :)

Information Technology

Currently we live in what is widely referred to as the “Information Age.” People manipulate and control information continually, even so that some groups are equated with information. Information is their business and that business creates power.

Say, for example, you had a secret that someone was having an affair. What is the difference between telling that person’s spouse or a stranger on the street? There is a difference, of course. The stranger has the knowledge, but not the power. Say the stranger subsequently meets someone in a bar and tells that person about the affair. The listener is the spouse of the adulterer, and the conversation gets them to thinking...Suddenly the stranger has become very powerful, without even knowing it.The lines between knowledge and power are blurred and dynamic. Information equals power in our world today. But at what point does information become power? And at what point does said power gain a dangerous influence over the information?

Imagine someone who has intelligence; knowledge, but only holds it; does not act on it. Is it possible for that person to remain powerless?

Word For Pout

dis·con·nect: A lack of connection; a disparity.

Ah, it's just a conflict, you say. It's a philosopher's fancy-schmancy term for a conflict.

But a disconnect is more subtle than a conflict. A conflict names itself; puts itself out there for all to see. It's noisy and disruptive. A conflict refuses to be ignored.

A disconnect is the shade, the simulacrum, the soul and fetus of a conflict. It craves anonymity. It's a murky thing: lingering at the heart of what eats on us at night.

In Times Like These...

Today is my birthday. 27 years of seeing the beauty of the world. 324 months of hearing the wonders of sound and voices. 9855 days of breathing. Goodness me, sometimes we do take this things lightly. Some say I am still young. Some say I am already old. Whatever it is, I pray to God how thankful I am to be alive and to still be able to use my five senses. Hmm.. five senses.

I have seen, through my eyes, the good and the bad images of people and places in this world. I have heard, through my ears, from the serenity of voices to the crying voices of people in this world. I have touched, through my hands, both the beautiful and rotten things people lay on my hands in this world. I have smelled, through my nose, both pleasant and unpleasant things that I have came across in this world. I have tasted, through my mouth, from the wonders to the disgusting things that I can put my mouth to in this world.

And I asked myself, "Have I put all that to good use?"

It's hard to say coz we humans, will and always make mistakes. Time and time again we will make mistakes. Time and time again we will ask for forgiveness. Time and time again we will promise ourselves to repent. And... the cycle starts again.

Its fair enough to say that whenever tragedy strucks, we will reflect on ourselves first. What can we do? What can we learn? What can we contribute? What can we do....in times like these?

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Taken from Foo Fighters' "Times Like These"

I am a one way motorway

I'm the one that drives away

then follows you back home

I am a street light shining

I'm a wild light blinding bright burning off alone

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising

I'm a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight

I am a little divided

do I stay or run away

and leave it all behind?

It's times like these you learn to live again

it's times like these you give and give again

it's times like these you learn to love again

it's times like these time and time again

After reading the above, we started to think. Think. And think. That's the other thing that I forgot to say thankful to God. For giving us the beautiful mind to think. For whenever we want to use any of our five senses, we can think before we do it. For it's the mind that operates the five senses. The beautiful mind. A gift from God.