My Writings. My Thoughts.

As If the Details Are Not Enough…

At » 5:09 AM // 1 Comments »
“There are only two types of problems in this world. One is from God. To see whether we are up for the challenges ahead. The other is by us. We create those problems. Let’s try to minimise it then.” - Anonymous

I was looking at my schedule and then it struck me. I’m getting bored already. I’ve just started and I can sense the routine ahead of me. And I really don’t know how I’m gonna feel when I start to get familiar with it.

When you're really familiar with something, tiny differences render exponential results. Because there is something about routine that makes life feel completely pointless. It's like carrying around a brick of shit tied to a leash everywhere you go. It can't walk, you gotta drag it, it smells bad, sometimes you back up and step on it, and at the end of the day you look at your piece of shit and think, "Why am I carrying this around?". There is no point. And so do I feel with routine.

I lived everyday the same as the last, I am excited by nothing. Surprised by nothing. I'm merely living for the variables, the details that change from day to day, which are fleeting and equal nothing in the grande scheme of things.

But then it occured to me that I had it wrong, or mostly wrong. What does the grande scheme of things matter?

People in general are terrible at seeing the big picture. We live in a linear society, where the average person moves from detail to detail in order to see any piece of this infinite puzzle. Yet when it comes to finding meaning, people want the big picture. So we dream of big electrons in the sky and dudes with beards sitting on clouds playing chess, and I wonder, were the details not enough??

For some reason, I thought at the age of seven I should remember that moment and never forget. I remember playing in a pool of mud and having deep thoughts. I was contemplating God way back then. Whatever conclusions I came to then still shape who I am now. At the age of eight, I couldn't figure out the idea of God not having a beginning and an end when everything else around me does, including myself. I had a discussion about that with another friend who was about eight as well. Do most eight year olds talk about this stuff?

Twenty years on, I guess I figure it out. I guess few truly know what it means to stop and smell the roses. Fuck it, feel them too. Take a pedal, stick it in your mouth and chew on it. Rub them on your face. It's something different. My point is, finding meaning in life is hard, it takes skill to be happy.

One thing I have learned is that regardless of what our faults are, whether sexually, emotionally, financially, physically, or being self-righteous; we are on the same playing field with God. We all need him. That is the biggest gripe I have of being identified as a Muslim. People are naturally skeptical. I don't blame them.

I guess as things unfold as I explain my life day by day or perhaps every other blog entry by every other entry, the readers will be able to best determine if there is any difference in my life and theirs, and if they think it has anything to do with God. ;)


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