Random Thought

To not question is to doubt - by not questioning, you are in acknowledgment that if you did question, a contradictory answer that is not pleasing may be found and therefore, doubt by not questioning in the first place.

Mirror's Eyes

I suppose one of our biggest fear would be dying alone, as if dying weren't bad enough. Just a little recognition would be nice. A little mourning. I don't think I'm the first one to imagine what my own funeral would be like. I'd be watching in from above, listening to what kind words people have to say about me, everyone weeping uncontrollably, even the little babies would be crying, or maybe they just wanted their pacifier.

But I wonder how many of those people in the crowd would have truly understood me. It is such a liberating form of recognition; to be understood. To know another sees more than just a part, is drawn in by more than just some appealling mannerisms, or looks, even if they can't relate to it or understand the whys. I hope it’s going to be a great weekend, an excellent weekend, but hanging in between, my moments of pointless flirting and unintelligability was a thought. Just give me a nice setting, a cigarette box, some coffee, and someone to connect with sitting across from me. I’d be content with that.

We wouldn't need to be talking about profound things, by all means flirt a little, leave your brain at the door and don't look back. But I love the feeling I get when in the presence of someone I see eye to eye with. There is so much unspoken understanding and mutual acknowledgement. I'll crack a smile when carefully selected words hint at some grand understanding, as if precisely behind these symbols, tangled in some abstract mess where words serve no justice, a beautiful connection between two people lies.

I'm starting to hate this post because I'm basically saying that despite all my friends and all the fun I have, there's a part of me that just wants someone to connect with, and even more, to call my own. That doesn't sounds right. Maybe I'm just trying to find some closure to my past. Or perharps, we all just want to find closure to our past? As one points out, “The past is a reminder for us to be better in the future.”

For a start, maybe I’ll just smile. Smile like I mean it...

Note From The Past

When I lie where shades of darkness

Shall no more assail my eyes

As the rain made lamentation

Or the whistling wind sighs

How will the world fare whose wonder

Was that the very proof of me?

Memory fades, must be remembered

Sure it perishes as it can be.

When will my dust surrenders

Confused, blurred with confession till dusk

May these loved and loving faces

Get collaborated and drained in a task

Let rust harvest vast places

Soil the fool’s joy entwined

And as the happy embryos traces

Appreciate the joy once mine.

In every hour without night

Seal their minds in deadly slumber

For their lies swell till delight

Oh pardon me should my words be blunder

And so I’ve paid my utmost blessing

Where all things lived with praise

Events in the past year had been passing

For I pray this year I shall lead with grace.