My Writings. My Thoughts.

Mirror's Eyes

On » January 16, 2010 //

I suppose one of our biggest fear would be dying alone, as if dying weren't bad enough. Just a little recognition would be nice. A little mourning. I don't think I'm the first one to imagine what my own funeral would be like. I'd be watching in from above, listening to what kind words people have to say about me, everyone weeping uncontrollably, even the little babies would be crying, or maybe they just wanted their pacifier.

But I wonder how many of those people in the crowd would have truly understood me. It is such a liberating form of recognition; to be understood. To know another sees more than just a part, is drawn in by more than just some appealling mannerisms, or looks, even if they can't relate to it or understand the whys. I hope it’s going to be a great weekend, an excellent weekend, but hanging in between, my moments of pointless flirting and unintelligability was a thought. Just give me a nice setting, a cigarette box, some coffee, and someone to connect with sitting across from me. I’d be content with that.

We wouldn't need to be talking about profound things, by all means flirt a little, leave your brain at the door and don't look back. But I love the feeling I get when in the presence of someone I see eye to eye with. There is so much unspoken understanding and mutual acknowledgement. I'll crack a smile when carefully selected words hint at some grand understanding, as if precisely behind these symbols, tangled in some abstract mess where words serve no justice, a beautiful connection between two people lies.

I'm starting to hate this post because I'm basically saying that despite all my friends and all the fun I have, there's a part of me that just wants someone to connect with, and even more, to call my own. That doesn't sounds right. Maybe I'm just trying to find some closure to my past. Or perharps, we all just want to find closure to our past? As one points out, “The past is a reminder for us to be better in the future.”

For a start, maybe I’ll just smile. Smile like I mean it...

5 Response to "Mirror's Eyes"

Nashe^ Says:

Being understood is not a norm, it's a luxury. :]

Anonymous Says:

Beautiful =))

infatuatedlittlebeing Says:

I would love to find closure to my past. But if forgetting our past will not make us a better person, then might as well live by it, as a reminder...to be better. Ditto your words cuz.
Ditto that.
Ditto all.
cheers~

Fadhlur Rahman Says:

Nashe- Well said! :)
Anonymous- Thank you. It doesn't cost anything to share thoughts with people who are willing to share.
Cuz- Ditto you! :)

Anonymous Says:

Well said. The past must a reminder for us. It takes a past to be what we are presently. =) - Zaza.

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