My Writings. My Thoughts.

Fallen with Grace

On » October 08, 2009 //

"My mind is big when I look at you and talk to you." -- Anonymous



I've spent a lot of my free time with my close friends. We’ve known each other well and a few of us known each other since we were six years old. We’ve grown so fast and become adults in no time. And as we look to the past when we were kids, we were immortal. I mean, I felt immortal.

I duly observed stay-home mommies and aunties tend to talk about "lots of togetherness" - a catch phrase for "the kids are on my nerves." But as I look at kids, my small cousins and my friends’ kids, they aren't really on my nerves. I mean, true, I don’t have a family of my own yet. How would I know? But to look at them right through their eyes, sometimes I wish being a kid back. I used to dream a lot. As kids, we were allowed to dream as far as we can coz we didn’t really know how big the obstacles lying ahead of us. And yes, of course, being mischievous and always know that my loving parents are behind my back no matter how bad I am back then. Oh, I had my moments. And to look at them(kids) now in general, even though the giving is mostly mine, they don't wear on me. They build me up.

I think any kid would say the above about their parents. We make them feel big. It's our job. But I say that about them. If I have my family of my own in future, and I can create a human being then what's so great about the endeavour of writing a book, which I have been wanting to do lately? My mind feels big when I look at kids, and their heart, and their confidence.

This evening, as I was about to play soccer with my friends, I was in a lift with a probably three-year-old cute little girl holding a balloon with her mum. Her face looked gloomy, possibly, disappointed by her balloon. The helium had gone to wherever helium goes to die, and the balloon lay limp on the lift floor, the string fallen in perfect loops. I expected tears –coz I got a sneaky suspicion that she will look even more adorable when she cry-but she gave a smile instead to her mum and said, “I’ll lift it up and it will stay up.”


I smiled at her reply and wanted to say, "No, you know they only last a day or so..."

But I wisely stopped myself. After all, I'd just read this wonderful essay by someone:

"The progress of man is based on disbelief of the commonly accepted."

Who am I to say that she won't find the cure for cancer or the common cold? Maybe she'll discover and name the thing that binds us to each other and to the world. Or maybe her life will be filled with ordinary, wonderful things like marrying someone she loves, having kids, and liking her job. But she surely can't and won't do much of anything if I dissuade her from testing the most basic of rules.

A teacher I once knew worked with students who thought that the only possible means to financial success were through the more common practice of selling and taking drugs and being in a secret society. He used to tell them one important thing.


"You have to know what the rules are in order to break them." (Hardly original, I know, but cliches are cliche for a reason.)


There's always been a raging war between convention and the use of our intelligence. He actually meant to encourage their unconventionality in order to bolster that use. And it often worked too. I know, coz I was one of his students.

I got a reminder today, a million thanks to my caring parents for spending their time talking with me. It's a simple thing, but something I'd forgotten. God is in the details, but grace comes from recognizing which ones need to be questioned. Look at everything and think how it can be deconstructed and then rebuilt into something bigger.The balloon fell today, but who am I to say that it will fall tomorrow?

(This post was taken and edited from my defunct blog.)

2 Response to "Fallen with Grace"

infatuatedlittlebeing Says:

I'd say cuz, it's true what you say. Wait till you're an uncle, the kids will get on your nerves! :P But kids are beautiful, the way they think and how they see things. It's different, and good thing you didn't tell her about the balloon :P

Indeed, God is in the details, He knows everything, and, He makes miracles too. Who knows the next day He made the balloon bigger, right?

I felt His minutest grace once, and I can never forget it. The feeling is beyond description, beyond euphoria and all I could do was shed tears, wishing I could hug Him, the One Who knows my flaws and secrets.

Fadhlur Rahman Says:

Very true indeed cuz. :)

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